I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. Nicolas Cage, as Herbert “Hi” McDunnough in the Coen brothers’ 1987 mystery-drama ‘Raising Arizona’ performs the following monologue about his dream regarding the future. I’m not gonna take this. I mean, really, what's the point? Coffee's for closers only. ‘Ooh, we’re afraid to go with you Bluto, we might get in trouble.’ Well just kiss my a** from now on! Michelangelo? I can’t learn anything from you I can’t read in some fuckin’ book. Thank you very much. It’s difficult to sympathize or empathize with a brutal character like Bill the Butcher. And while most hopefully don’t think he’s in the right, it’s an interesting look into his perspective and how he sees things. Here’s our Top 10 Comedic Monologues for Men covering everything from friend obsession, ego, pride, physical pain, weird theories and home crashing. The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. That strain again! He’s intelligent. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine and you ripped my fuckin’ life apart. ', goes limp, or taps out, the fight is over. Each newsletter contains an unsubscribe link. Read ScreenCraft’s 15 Types of Villains Screenwriters Need to Know! Handsome fellow huh? Taylor wants to have sex with Simon, but Simon seems, to her, uninterested. I'm not European, I don't plan on being European, so who gives a crap if they're socialist? Sitting out there waiting to give you their money! He’s intelligent. And villains are on the extreme end of the antagonist spectrum. He's about 455 yards away, he's gonna hit about a 2-iron, I think. Get their names to sell them! Topics include food and drink, crazy dates, Napoleon complex and etiquette. And you're lookin' at your claws and you're lookin' at your fangs. Greed in all of its forms. Since I met you, I’ve noticed things I never knew were there – birds singing, dew glistening on a newly-formed leaf, stop lights. Be wise as serpents, yet innocent as doves", There Will Be Blood - "I drink your milkshake". You call yourself a salesman, you son of a bitch? Get them to sign on the line which is dotted! The Big Lebowski - "Theodore Donald Karabotsos...". Clayton has been invited to a widow’s bungalow. And a varmint will never quit – ever. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. You're 5 feet nothin', a 100 and nothin', and you got hardly a speck of athletic ability. We don’t dare sympathize, but we understand his stance in the whole scheme of things. “You weep for Santiago and you curse the Marines. He’s a prankster. Drained dry. He's weak, he's unsure of himself, he's a coward. Why yes, of course. He was a man who loved the outdoors - and bowling, and as a surfer, he explored the beaches of Southern California, from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo and up to Pismo. As I say you all know what a moose is? You just have to accept people for what they are, and I learned the greatest gift of all. If you’re in your 20’s, don’t choose a monologue for a detective who’s about to retire. Because that's what livin' is. You tell me. Worship that? You get the picture? How he got in my pajamas, I’ll never know. Life’s work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientation, the whole works, right? Taylor wants to have sex with Simon, but Simon seems, to her, uninterested. He is frantic. Here, the Zinfandel is cornered in a battle by Sam The Shoemaker, who has just discovered that the Zinfandel is a fraud. See more ideas about Funny monologues, Monologues, Funny. An antebellum mansion in the Garden District, New Orleans, Louisiana creates the setting for this artist’s last fight. “Friends, I’m going to tell you of the great mysterious wonderful continent known as Africa. We learn about what drives him. Alex, a black man, talks to his brother, Ty, on the stoop of their modest but well-kept house on Franklin Ave in Brooklyn, NY. Think about it. Deeds. “You don’t really know why you don’t like them, all you know is you find them repulsive.”. Where’s the guts, huh? You can object to the use of your e-mail Where’s the spirit? Your name's Levene? I want you to get up right now. Kill Bill Vol. A good point there. Rather than being a monologue strictly about Avatar, Alex’s views on the film represent his perspective on how “perfect culture” is represented as truth when so much of the world, especially the world around him, is falling to pieces. The dialogue: Let me have your attention for a moment! When he comes to Times Square to celebrate with his previous “co-worker”, another Statue of Liberty player on the streets, he finds her missing. And Janie, and Janie. And you hung in with the best college football team in the land for two years. Let's talk about something important! She asks him, “Are you seeing someone?” He is: Rhonda. THERE HE IS Pete cannot stand coping with a co-worker at his job that seeks constant attention. Find a character or situation that you can relate too. You motherfuckers will be playin' basketball in Pelican Bay when I get finished with you! And I don’t know. The principal animals inhabiting the African jungle are moose, elk, and Knights of Pythias. During high school I played junior hockey and still hold two league records; most time spent in the penalty box, and I was the only guy to ever take off his skate and try to stab someone. Always be closing! This monologue is a short but compelling observation about what it takes to survive in this world. Not me! “I’ve seen horrors, horrors that you’ve seen. He’s cunning. Ken Miyamoto has worked in the film industry for nearly two decades, most notably as a studio liaison for Sony Studios and then as a script reader and story analyst for Sony Pictures. I want you to get up right now and go to the window, open it, and stick your head out, and yell, 'I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!' He has to put on a costume to become Spider-Man. Yeah, my childhood was going great, but life is full of surprises. Greed is right, greed works. Africa, God’s country. For I am not Emily Kimberly, the daughter of Dwayne and Alma Kimberly. I didn't think so. I want you to get mad. What you do is: you fake a stomach cramp, and when you're bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. And while we believe Jessup was in the wrong, he has a strange point. 'I don't know how to kill the bunny.' Clayton has been invited to a widow’s bungalow. Let’s go! The only problem is that Lincoln has lost the engagement ring. It's a depression. Quick Monologue Tips: Find a monologue that fits you and your experiences. Rather than being a monologue strictly about Avatar, Alex’s views on the film represent his perspective on how “perfect culture” is represented as truth when so much of the world, especially the world around him, is falling to pieces. This situation is unacceptable.”. And to do that, you may need that thought-provoking villain monologue. It ends up being a very black-and-white situation. A-I-D-A; get out there!! As I perused YouTube looking at his past works, I couldn't help but rewatch Good Will Hunting and admire just how well Robin Williams' therapist character, Sean, spun heartwarming tales that contained both optimism and an overarching sense of sadness. This time they called it World War II. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Clark Griswold is barely hanging on, and in this hilarious bit from 1983's Vacation, Chevy Chase delivers without question one of the funniest rants from any comedy movie ever. © 2020 Cinemaholic Inc. All rights reserved. And he can’t even call the police because she is undocumented. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. Through the history of romantic movies, there have been plenty of speeches of this kind. He’s cunning. The dialogue: Now if one were to determine what attribute the German people share with a beast, it would be the cunning and the predatory instinct of a hawk. And I'm here on a mission of mercy. Donny, who loved bowling. However, the reason the Führer's brought me off my Alps in Austria and placed me in French cow country today is because it does occur to me. General Hummel isn’t a terrorist. And even better, the moment where you make them empathize with the villain because of that perspective — even if it’s for just a brief moment (except for those truly evil characters like Hans Landa). Those are his clothes. And every morning when you woke up, you'd still be Beatrix Kiddo.I'm calling you a killer.

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